Now it’s personal
I have always been a bit of a rule follower. Anyone else grow up as a rule follower? Maybe it was because I was the first born. Maybe it was just because of my personality. I was a huge rule follower as a kid. I couldn’t quite remember any specific stories to illustrate it so I called the keeper of all the good stories, my mom. She remembered how on the first day of school in kindergarten I was convinced that I was going to be late. I knew what time school started and I was emphatically telling her over and over again “Mom, I’m going to be late”. She gently reminded me of what time school did start and that we would be there with plenty of time to spare. I also remembered the first time I ever had to “turn a card.” In school we had this board on the wall, were everyone in the class had their name with a slot that had three cards in it, green, yellow and red. If you broke one of the class rules or disobeyed the teacher you would have to turn a card to the next color. You didn’t want to get to red because then you were in big trouble. One day during show and tell someone had brought their pygmy hamster and we were passing it around, getting the chance to hold it. When it was my time to hold him…it bit me! Well of course I made noise and it just happened to be at a time when the teacher wanted everyone to be quiet. I had to turn a card to yellow. Needless to say, I was very upset…not only because it hadn’t been my fault, but because my now perfect record of never having to turn a card was ruined! I had broken a rule! Stupid hamster.
Whether you will admit to it or not, we all tend to want to be rule followers. There is a certain satisfaction that we get as humans from doing right and falling on the correct side of the line. We have checklist mentalities that rules help to fulfill. When there is a concrete rule in place we can look at it and say “Okay! Got that done.” Then we can move on to something else and put it out of our brain. We like rules. Rules create order where there would be chaos otherwise. Rules give us something to strive for and complete. Rules allow us to decide who has done well and can be rewarded or who has done wrong and has to pay the consequences.
If you didn’t catch it in our gospel reading Jesus is talking about the rules. (It’s a little hard to miss). In this case a couple of the 10 Commandments (you shall not murder and you shall not commit adultery), a common tradition about when it was okay to divorce your wife, and another common tradition about oaths. Jesus talking about the rules isn’t strange or out of bounds. Jesus was a rabbi and part of the practice of the rabbis would be to discuss the laws listed in Torah. Rabbis would even give pointers about how to live out the rules in different situations. Their thoughts were recorded and are even considered to be a part of the Torah as much as the rules themselves. What Jesus does with these laws is not just give practical advice on how to follow them (though he does seem to do that at some points), but he expands their interpretation. He makes it personal. While we were reading the gospel did anyone else get a slight sinking feeling, or was that just me?
When Jesus expands upon these rules it makes them more difficult to follow. We can’t just go “Well I didn’t kill anyone today, check that off” or “Didn’t sleep with anyone else, check.” The expanding forces us to look at more. There are many different parts and angles to these things. The laws are much deeper than we imagined. Suddenly, we can’t just check them off. Suddenly, we may not be able to check anything off. We’re guilty of something and not following the rule. What this means is that we can’t draw a line between who’s followed the rule and who hasn’t. Whose right and wrong. We’re all guilty of something. We’ve all fallen short. We’re in the same boat.
What the expanding of these rules also does for us is it frees us to focus on relationships instead of rules. People instead of laws. We have the freedom to engage people where they are instead of writing them off for not following this or that rule. Jesus’ words remind us all of our dependence on God’s grace and love. By ourselves we can’t possible check everything off the list. Under our own power we can’t be perfect. It’s by the grace of God that we are made free. God’s love for us frees us to be in relationship, both with God and with each other. God cares about us so deeply that, through God’s son Jesus, by making the list unattainable we turn to God to find life and freedom. God cares deeply about you as a person. God cares deeply about your relationships. God cares deeply about making love, peace, joy, hope, life and freedom come alive in you. When we are so locked into the rules that our faces are turned inwards we miss the life that is happening around us. God can’t and won’t stand by as we focus on the rules and not on each other, our relationships and the people we encounter. That’s why Jesus came. To free us and turn us to God and to each other.
One thing that I always hear working in children, youth and family ministry is “It wasn’t that way when I went through it” This is especially true when it comes to Confirmation. I can’t count the number of stories I’ve heard about sermon notes, memorizing and reciting the catechism, having to attend worship, doing a certain amount of service hours, even nuns with rulers. Essentially, I have heard about a ton of rules that have been around Confirmation. I may be a rule follower sometimes, but as I have grown up I have also become a rule changer. Compared to some of the rule laden Confirmation programs I’ve heard about or seen ours probably seems a bit lax. We sometimes think that rules lead to placing importance on something or making it meaningful. I think our gospel for today is contrary to that. In our Confirmation program we have expectations. There are things that I outline for our families that suggest how to get the most out of the Confirmation years. I actually do the same thing for our First Communion classes (been thinking about that some as that approaches in March). There are things that we expect, but we also leave room for the Holy Spirit to work. On a practical level it also leaves room for life to be…well…life. The end goal is the same as other churches programs…to have our youth experience Jesus and live out faith in him as a disciple. For me, it’s about the goal and doing whatever it takes to get there…not how we get there.
I bet we could also tell some stories this morning about how we’ve been excluded from things because of the rules. Times we haven’t been able to do something because a certain rule said so. When it’s possibly the most painful is when this happens in the church. Beautiful, capable, faithful disciples who have a deep faith and love Jesus turned away from their children or themselves being baptism, participating in communion, their wedding being performed, a funeral being done for a family member, or just serving in worship because of the rules. As people of faith and disciples of Jesus we’re called to be something different. We’re called to be a shelter for others from the demands of life. Jesus came to dwell among us to bring freedom, to bring life. As God works to develop freedom, love, joy, hope, peace something happens that calls us to action. We can sit idly by and let all those things happen and not do anything, sure. But, here’s one way we can interact with all this: We become a shelter where others can find freedom, love, joy, hope and peace. I mean this on two levels. Absolutely, we can be (and do) this as a church for others. Beyond that you can be a shelter in every place you go this week. As you go to school, work, at home, at the grocery store, with your friends, with your family, yes even with strangers you can be a shelter for them. A shelter in which they find the blessings of love, joy, hope, peace and freedom. A place where they can find a break from the rules. A place where it becomes personal. A shelter. That’s you. And you. And you. You can be the place where all the blessings of God become personal. Amen.
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